The banana episode...

It is ****ing cold in NZ – no colder than winter elsewhere at this same latitude – however for some reason the dudes here do not have central heating in their houses..??? Spending winter in the Falklands, with it’s tearing winds and proximity to Antarctica was more pleasant than winter here. Even Tim, the scrooge of heating (Tim's idea of "warm enough" is 15 degrees - when I say I am cold he tells me to put more clothes on) is having fantasies about turning a knob and magically having a warm house..

We are staying with our buddies Adi, Fraser and Misha at the moment. They are kind, generous, playful souls and we have been blessed to have this little oasis from the administration baddies who don’t seem to keen for us strays to work here.

We have a fire every night to warm the bones, especially Misha the cat needs one or she meanders around the house yowling loudly – she’s an old lady and has a bit of arthritis you see. We watch TV, laugh, eat lovely food, play scrabble (all trying desperately to beat the Fraser, the KING of scrabble), drink nice wines or whiskey, play with the cat and generally indulge in the good things. It has been ages since I hung around home – so it is a real treat. Eventually we get into bed with our hot water bottle and read into the night.

I made some yummy charcoal potatoes for lunch the other day in the fire – in tin foil. We were getting a bit experimental with dessert and decided to try the good old South African bananas in the braai trick. We got huge bananas, sliced them in half, crumbled dark choc and marshmallow bits in the split, wrapped them in tin foil – shiny bit in and put them in the coals. The fire was hotter than a braai – we only left them in for about 8 minutes.

We excitedly retrieved them the hot embers and got our spoons ready.. Adi, Fra and I dug in and it was like eating pure burnt tinfoil! Horrendous! The marshmallows had been entirely incinerated. We each politely tried a second, modest bite – but it was too disgusting to go on – bananas all had charcoal bums. Tim was digging into his banana as if it was quite yummy! We were all looking at him in amazement – thinking secretly to ourselves, “wow, he’s hardcore! It must be the Falklands upbringing.” He was thinking to himself, “those guys are fussy as”. When he had finished his banana, he swiftly moved onto Adi’s cast aside charcoal pudding. The expression on his face was priceless – it was like someone had put one of Misha’s turds in his mouth! He then tried mine, the smile turned down, finally in a desperate attempt to rid his mouth if the foul metallic taste in his mouth he tried Fraser’s – and it all got worse! We were all laughing so hard, it was like a scene from Candid Camera. His banana must’ve somehow been shielded from the wrath of the fire.

The moral of the story is – don’t judge a man until you have walked in his boots…!