If this was speech was edited by Lauren it may be entitled “Can I wear Gucci in Heaven?” but instead I call it Eulogy for our beautiful Lauren – “Thank you for a life lived at the speed of love”
Ali and Gary asked me to speak on their behalf today about their princess. I was happy to do so, because no parent should have to endure the loss of a child, let alone speak. To all those who have loved this embattled family in the last week, I thank you on their behalf, the difference has been felt – and Ali and Gary & Mish will thank you in their own time and way.
Having had no children of my own I cannot begin to comprehend their loss, but Ali knew that when she asked me, and it did not matter for she wanted me to speak not only of loss but more appropriately to speak of life. To speak of love, laughter, biscuits, kisses and Dior high heels and so do honour to our beautiful Lauren. Eulogies are not written after someone dies, they are written whilst they live. Lauren wrote her own eulogies in her short but full wild child life. Our very presence here and the depth of our collective sadness honours that spirit.
I don’t believe that all lives are equal. You can measure a life by plumbing the depth of the sadness at its passing. You do not need a scale to weigh my sadness, it presses on my heart and stomach and pours out my eyes so deeply I know that this life, this particular beautiful life, was a heavy measure.
On a much wider scale than my personal grief, Lauren’s facebook page has become a impromptu memorial blog (5 pages), with friends spontaneously expressing their love and grief. The sadness is evidenced by the travel that has been undertaken by various people to be here today, and the steady streams of sad supportive people who have provided love and shared grief with Ali and Gary over the last few days. Many people wanted to express their grief and love in some way today, from photo collections, memorial drinks and favourite songs collections. Only a special person generates this level of spontaneous emotional response.
Lauren has left us with immense sadness. A lot of loss. Irrespective of the role she played in your life, her leaving leaves it a little quieter, a little darker, and not quiet as much fun, and with less love. That’s why we miss her so much. And the inescapable fact is that the missing does not lessen with time.
But enough of the loss side of the equation, since this equation is balanced by Lauren’s life. All of life is balance, so a deep sadness today is the balance and payment for an abundance of life and love yesterday.
We could rant at God by shouting upwards in this melancholy storm, ask why he took our best and brightest girl, why this particular young life. There are things that Lau will not get to do, things we cannot watch her do with her unusual grace and humility - but the purpose of action on earth is to nurture and express our spirit – but Lau was already expressing that undiluted spirit from the age of 3. Lauren was a fully formed spectacular flower, blooming all too briefly, but, what a sight. And we couldn’t take our eyes off her for a moment! Especially the boys. Especially when she was wearing a mini.....So instead let us thank god for a flower bloomed, and not regret a petal shed. So instead we recall that god took this angel out his particular special reserve, extra matured, high % kickass content angel cabinet, and gave her to us for 24 years, and for that we should be thankful.
Angel’s generally do not hold up a sign saying they are angels. Angels just shine so brightly that they can’t be mistaken. This green eyed angel did occasionally have some signage, but it was usually Guess or Dior. I can’t stand here and tell you what she meant to each of you individually, since she expressed different aspects of her multifaceted self to all of us. She was amoungst other traits mystical, graceful, naughty, beautiful, impish, gleeful, spiritual, tactile, naughty, compassionate, truthful and naughty. But in all of those expressions of self, she was always love and beauty and truth.
She was the flame which gives infinite light. People’s language gives clues as to their internal visions and representations, and many people say that when she arrived with her luminous presence she lit up a room. This is not a carelessly chosen metaphor it is how people perceived her. She had a huge beauty which shone everywhere. There are over 407 registered friends on facebook to prove it. 407 friends? That’s not a social network, it’s a fan club. Perhaps we should get membership cards and Lauren would think it would be appropriate to get free stuff when we flash them....
Her love expressed itself in duty, care and compassion. On her last day Lauren left a flat that she had been cleaning for a friend, and immediately after the moment of impact she managed to pull her car over to the side of the road to make sure that no one else would be in danger. She cared, she had compassion, and many of us know the small private actions she undertook behind closed doors to take care of her friends and family.
She loved hard as a sister, as a daughter and as a friend. She lived and loved with incandescence and without reserve, with a deep textured reverence for all good things, usually expensive! In her short full life she tasted the whole world in great depth and savoured every moment. She was unadulterated glee concerning all the fine things in life. She recently told my sister life was about kisses and biscuits.
So at the end of all our base human reactions to this life lived at the speed of love, we are left with;
• the ways she changed us,
• our memories, and
• most importantly an example on how to live. A way to live our own lives more like Lauren, at the speed of love.
To paraphrase Dylan Thomas: Lauren did not go gently into the good night, but she partied hard into the morning light. So right now she would be planning for the next party, the next champagne, the next sunset, the next love, the next Jimmy Choo bag. So have your moment of sadness, but get back to the party as soon as you can and be a little naughty.
And go and live your own lives at the speed of love, because that’s how we best say to Lauren we love you.
